Take proper care. 70% of your entire energy is emotional
Boston-based psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum and author of The Emotional Energy Factor says that “Emotional energy is the precondition for everything we care about.” A remarkable 70% of our entire energy we can describe as emotional, and it’s this energy that gives you hope and enthusiasm in your day in, day out. Your emotional energy is also the source of your passion, humor, and endurance through both fun and difficult times.
There is a number of sources that can harm your emotional energy, including:
- Unresolved or toxic relationships with people
- Harmful habits of the mind like obsessive thinking, or feeling guilty about something you did but cannot change
- Indecisiveness/tension about something (romantic relationship, business partnership, family affairs, etc).
Always strive to identify what drains you out emotionally. Start by asking the following 4 questions:
1. Is someone’s presence around you toxic for you?
You may be close with someone who is always asking something from you but rarely gives anything back in return. Perhaps it’s time you proposed new terms about how your relationship with this person is going to play out in the future.
2. Do you often find yourself lonely?
Humans are social animals. Sometimes all it takes to improve your mood is spending time with the right people. If you have a burden, talk with a friend. A good conversation can work as a pill for your emotions. It is in the company of one another where we find comfort and means how to regulate our emotions, and as per some research also how we activate the brain’s reward circuitry.
3. Do you laugh often enough?
When you laugh, your brain releases dopamine, a chemical that improves your mood just like chocolate or cold beer does. So, you may end up in circumstances where the room is full of tension only to see how healthy humor melts hearts at the end. Humor can work like “catharsis” for your emotions, or what the ancient Greeks viewed as “cleansing” and “purification.”
4. Do you practice forgiveness?
Being unable to forgive someone may bury you with feelings of guilt, remorse, fear, anxiety and even depression. Nobody says it’s easy to be able to forgive, but that’s likely your best way out from some tense emotions. Dr. Fred Luskin, author of the book Forgive for Good and Director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, writes that: “Forgiveness, like other positive emotions such as hope, compassion, and appreciation, is a natural expression of our humanity.”
“These emotions exist within a deep part of each of us,” he continues. “Like many things, they require practice to perfect, but with this practice they become stronger and easier to find. Ultimately, they can be as natural to us as anger and bitterness. It takes a willingness to practice forgiveness day after day to see its profound benefits to physical and emotional well-being and to our relationships. Perhaps the most fundamental benefit of forgiveness is that over time it allows us access to the loving emotions that can lie buried beneath grievances and grudges.”
What are the drivers of my emotional energy? I’m a lot around people with whom we share mutual trust and respect. I choose to do more things that make me happy. I believe that we have to be primarily good to ourselves and that such an attitude eventually shows in our inner power that leads to higher emotional energy. It seems that this is a kind of a circle that we are in charge of and it’s basically our own responsibility. Also, in my life, I prefer walking to running. Literally and metaphorically speaking. I cherish personal relationships instead of virtual ones. I share as much smiles with other people as possible every day 😊 — Darja from the Faculty of Economics, Ljubljana
More Good Reads? Our team recommends the following 5:
Don’t Bury Your Feelings
Hands on Research: The Science of Touch
5 Signs You’re the Victim of an Emotional Vampire
Forgiveness Can Improve Your Emotional and Physical Health
Why Do We Laugh?